


the way we grow

by orphan_account



Series: the way we are [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Five things they want, and the one thing they already have.





	the way we grow

**Author's Note:**

> theragingthespian.tumblr.com

Hands shove at her shoulders.

It’s barely noticeable at first. A huff above her ear and then fingers skimming on her shoulder. Or are they pushing?

She blinks slowly, awareness filtering in. The room is quiet, nothing alarming which is always her first guess, but Lena’s heartbeat is quick under her ear. 

(It’s nice but it’s not.

Lena’s heartbeat so close to her, not after filtering out half the sounds of the city to hear it. Just a feather light beat at her ear, warm breaths coaxing over her head.

But it’s fast just as those breaths, choppy and uneven when it should be calm. Should be Lena at ease by her side.)

She tilts up her head, pressing a kiss to the underside of Lena’s jaw. “What’s wrong?”

“Kara.” It’s not quite pained, but sounds close to it, exasperation clear. She looks down at Lena’s hand, sees the muscles in her arms jumping, and yeah, okay, she thinks Lena’s pushing her. “It’s too hot.”

“Oh, sorry.” She winces as she pulls away, feels the air rushing between them. Lena throws off the covers immediately, stretching out and sighing and oh, if her hand slides over Lena’s waist, Lena doesn’t question it.

“I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m sorry, but then it got so hot.” Lena brushes a hand through her hair, twists it up quickly. The moonlight shifts over her as she moves, and Kara finds her words are jumbled, sifting between her fingers before she can get a firm grip, because, oh, Lena’s beautiful.

“You’re fine.” Lena’s hand settles on hers, thumb rising and falling over the ridges of her knuckles. It’s such a familiar gesture, Lena’s hand warm on hers, heartbeat a lulling rhythm. A simple movement, but all she can think is _love, love, love_. She scoots closer and-

Lena’s hand stops her. “You’re going to suffocate me at this rate.”

“I will not.”

Lena eyes her, hand falling to the side. “You have a tendency to,” she draws it out, like she’s not quite sure but there’s a look in her eye, and maybe she just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, “smother.”

She rears back. “I don’t smother.” Lena’s lips turn upward, a quick movement, but she doesn’t miss it, feels the affection behind it as easily as the hand threading through her hair. “I don’t,” she repeats firmly, does it again when Lena’s smile turns even softer, a nod of the head that’s more humoring than true.

“Just a little.”

“Never happened.”

“Then there should be no problem when I ask that you please don’t drape yourself over me.” There’s a challenge in there somewhere she’s sure, but Lena’s raising that eyebrow with that _look_ and she forgets she’s supposed to be denying her clinginess when she sighs out an ‘okay.’

But when she wakes up, her nose is pressed against Lena’s neck and her arms wrapped tightly around her and oh, she’s smothering Lena.

She’s a _smotherer_.

She scrambles off as fast as she can without waking Lena. It encompasses moving and freezing and then moving all over again. Very stealthy. Lena moves twice and she holds her breath the entire time. 

She presses a quick kiss to Lena’s head, fingers edging back the few strays that cling to the side of her face. “I’ll be right back.”

* * *

Odd enough, most hardware stores aren’t open twenty four hours a day.

Thank goodness fast-food doesn’t follow that rule, because she’s fairly sure she would’ve died the moment she couldn’t rely on a hamburger at two in the morning.

The cashier barely looks at her when she enters, gives a nod and a passing wave that flops over to the side.

She gets a muttered, “cool costume,” when she drags the two fans and ceiling fan back to the check out.

She falters. “Costume?” Blinks down at the red and blue of her crest, ignores that bite of pain even if it stings, and grins. “Costume. Right. Okay. Thank you.” She rocks back on her heels, bites down on her knuckle. “Do you mind if I leave the boxes here? It’s easier to fly if I go ahead and take them out? If that’s alright?”

“Holy-” The girl knocks her fist against her own head, stares down at Kara’s hand when she eases it away. “Oh my god, are you actually her?”

She only offers a quick smile and a tilt of her shoulders, because this tiny, tiny human’s heart is rushing and it’s alarming. Any signs of exhaustion have left her, and Kara’s forced to try and _not_ laugh when the girl’s eyes widen again. “Shit, yeah that’s- oh my _god_ ,” she- Kara leans forward and squints- Jenny forces out a quick breath, “it’s fine.”

“Awesome. Thank you.” She takes her time, carefully pulling out the fans and making sure she doesn’t leave anything on the floor. When she gets to the ceiling fan, a hand barely settles on her shoulder before Jenny’s backpedaling.

She points. “You um, you may want to leave that in the box? It’s got a couple of extra things to it and even carrying the box is easier than trying to keep up with the tiny parts across the city.”

The smile she gives Jenny comes far easier than her first. Feels the small tug of pride she always gets at seeing these people, the people she _loves_. “You’re right,” Jenny perks up at that, but shrugs her shoulders at the floor, “thanks for the heads up.”

“Can I ask why you’re buying so many fans? Don’t you have-” Jenny holds a fist up to her mouth, opens it quickly as she breathes.

“Um. _Oh_. Freeze breath?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“Yes. Not my idea.” She gets a laugh and hums happily as she rearranges her grip on- on well, everything. Thinks about her answer, because she can’t say what almost bursts out. That her girlfriend is hot- not that way but _yes_ that way too- and she needs these, but it’s not a good idea. She rolls her shoulders. “It gets hot at night?”

“Isn’t three fans kind of overkill?”

“Overkill? You can’t over- wait, yes sorry. I just want to be sure.”

“Have you tried getting like,” she waves her hands, “I don’t know the brands or anything, but breathable sheets?”

“Breathable-” Kara dips her head to her chest, breathes in deeply, because of course, _of course_ there’s some other route she could choose. “I will definitely look into that too. Thank you Jenny.”

“Yeah, sure. Anytime.”

* * *

She’s not really sure what sheets to get, and it seems more of a _what do you like_ sort of thing for them to do together, so really, another fan is needed.

She’s not quite sure she can afford another one though _and_ still hit her usual food spots this week, but that’s the great thing about sisters. 

They can’t tell you no.

Alex takes one look at her. Squints, because it’s dark, and she’s pretty sure Alex’s hand had started inching towards the gun in her drawer before Kara had spoken. She rolls back over, tugging the sheets from Maggie with a grumble and, “No.”

“What? _Come on_.”

“It’s three. Leave me alone.”

“ _Please_.”

Alex jerks down the sheets with a huff, eyeing her for a minute longer than is even necessary, because it’s not like she wants the DEO secret passcodes- do they even _have_ some?- she just wants a _fan_. “Why do you need it?” Her eyes light up, and oh, even in the darkness, she can see the _I told you so_ all over Alex’s dumb face. “You’re smothering her, aren’t you?”

“No! I don’t-” Maggie turns over and she quiets down, “I don’t _smother_.”

“You do. Oh my god, you’re going to give her a heat stroke.”

“Not if you give me your fan. I know you have it, but it’s not in the closet anymore.”

Alex grabs her pillow and presses it over her face. Kara thinks she groans something about stupid sisters, but really, it’s not like she has the _best_ hearing and Alex was yelling it into her pillow so. “Go away smotherer.”

She was going to leave, she was, but she hears Alex laugh, and Supers don’t just give up.

So she floats right over Alex and drops on her.

There’s a yelp, and then Alex is scrambling under her, and oh, she can’t stop laughing. “No suits in the bed, Kara, how many times do we have to tell you that?” Fingers start yanking at her cape, and all she can think is how much Winn is going to love this later. She presses the latch release, and Alex yanks again, the cape coming clean off and sending Alex to the floor.

Maggie rolls to face them. Leans up on her elbows to look behind her and the furious mass of blankets on the floor that is her sister. “Can you not rile her up? It takes her an hour to calm down.”

Alex jumps back up and launches at her, but it only takes a quick movement of her hands to wrap Alex up in a tight hug. 

“Sorry Maggie,” she says sweetly. She moves her hand down and catches Alex’s elbow before it lands against her ribs, more for Alex’s sake than hers. “Can you tell me where a fan is? It used to be in the hallway closet, but it’s not. I don’t want to go looking through your things.”

“Because that would be intrusive.” Alex tries to bite at her hand when she places it over Alex’s mouth. She blinks innocently at Maggie, waiting for her answer.

“It’s in our closet.”

“You’re the best.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything, just tugs Alex to her when she finally releases her and presses her face back into the pillow.

* * *

The ceiling fan is the last to do, taking a little more time than simply plugging it into the wall.

It’s dark, and even she can’t totally see her fingers in front of her, but lucky for her, _she_ listened to her instincts and got the little headband with a light in it.

(James had said she would never need it nor use it. She sends him a picture and a mass of emojis that she hopes gets just the right amount of righteousness.

All she gets back is a thumbs up and _go to sleep_.

Figures.)

“What are you doing?”

She glances down and- whoops. The light flashes over Lena, and it’s bright. Lena frowns and squints in the light until she clicks it off. “Sorry.” She raises her hand to feel along the grooves, twists the last screw into place. “I got a fan.”

“Fans,” Lena corrects, sounding a little breathless. She tilts her head, watches the way Lena rubs a hand at her chest before smiling up at her. A good way then, she thinks, a good breathless. “Why?”

“You were hot. I want you to- you don’t _have_ to be here,” she points out. “When you are, I want you to be comfortable. For you to want to be here.”

Fingers wrap around her ankle, giving a gentle tug. “Come here.” Lena’s hands skim over her skin as she floats down until she drapes her wrists over her shoulders, presses close to her. “I’m comfortable with you.”

(She says it like that’s it, that’s enough.

Because it is.

Lena, who can’t trust those who should, at a given, love her no matter what. But she trusts her and she’s comfortable with her, and oh, it’s _so much_.)

Lena kisses her, languid and sleepy. Kara’s not quite sure if she’s fully awake, but it’s warm and inviting and she sinks into it as Lena pulls them back down.

“I always want to be here.”

* * *

She’s not sure if Lena notices it at first.

That, between their frequent visits back and forth to each other’s places, their things are starting to get mixed up.

That she looks at her clothes rack, and Lena’s clothes hang right up front. That several of her shirts and pants- the soft, well worn ones- are missing, and then she’ll find them at Lena’s. 

(Lena’s cups are in her cabinet, but she doesn’t dare use them. Their sleek appearance a stark contrast to hers that are chipped and covered with splotches of paint.

But when she sees Lena, comfortable in the chic, muted colors of her apartment, picking up a mug with pawprints on it?

Her face feels warm and a buzz settles across her skin, and oh, she loves it.)

She doesn’t mention it.

Until Lena is pressed close to her, hand reaching over for the popcorn and mourning her jacket that has went MIA. 

“I just don’t understand it.” She chews thoughtfully. “I would’ve sworn that I hung it up in my closet, but it’s not there. Or at work. I liked that blazer.”

“This blazer, hypothetically,” she starts, trying to keep her voice light, but- nope. Lena takes the bowl of popcorn and holds it close to her chest, one eyebrow arching up _._ It’s somewhat threatening and attractive, and she’s conflicted for a long moment. “Hypothetically,” she stresses, “would it have fancy buttons?”

“Fancy-” Lena waves her hands. “Sure. Yes.”

“ _Okay,_ so,” she wiggles out from beside Lena and strides over to the rack. She trails her fingers over the clothes and- there it is. She holds it up, “Maybe not so hypothetically?”

“You had it?” She purses her lips, eyes roving over the other clothes, and okay, she’s probably noticing her other clothes too. Lena stares at them. “Those are all mine.”

Definitely noticing. 

“It’s totally, definitely not my fault, because you left then here.” She raises her hand, points it, “and you, you _took_ my clothes.”

Lena scoffs. “I did not.”

Kara taps her shirt and waves a hand at Lena, “Oh really?”

Lena looks down. “Oh.” She traces a finger over the fading emblem of National City University. She tips up her jaw. “Is this my blanket?”

“Again, you took mine.”

“The soft one,” Lena murmurs, hands clenching the blanket as she realizes. It’s quiet, and she steps back around to the couch, taking Lena’s hand as she sits down. “I did. It smells nice.” Lena blushes then, and Kara can’t resist cupping Lena’s cheek. Lena’s face is warm in her palm, shifts when Lena takes in a breath, turning into her hand.

Lena’s heartbeat is racing, pounding wildly against her chest.

Maybe she should’ve mentioned it.

(Looking around and seeing everything she has that’s Lena and knowing what she’s left there, it’s been slowly adding up to this. Building up, up, up into this undeniable fact.

This permanence.)

She’s freaking out and Lena’s freaking out, and it is a _big_ deal. Like, the biggest big deal even though she told Lena the new fried cheese bites at the restaurant down the street is the biggest big deal ever, this- this is bigger.

“You have a toothbrush.” Lena’s free hand raises up, and she presses the back of it to her mouth. Lets out a shaky breath. “In my apartment.”

“Yeah.” She scoots closer, squeezing their clasped hands. “That’s okay, right?”

Lena’s quiet. The kind that drives her crazy, nonmoving, breaths barely sounding. She’s tries not to move around even though she’s nervous, because Lena’s not saying anything and she’s _still_ not saying anything and sometimes humans respond so, so slowly.

“It is,” she says finally. Lena takes both of her hands, and are her hands sweaty or Lena’s? 

Hers. It’s hers.

Lena cups the back of her neck, thumb stroking under her ear. “Breathe Kara.”

“I am. I’m breathing. Breathing, got it.”

Lena smiles at her, quietly counts out breaths until she gets the pace of it. Her fingers are rubbing small circles at her neck, and it’s distracting and lovely, and oh, Lena’s smile gets a little wider, fuller. “I like having your things. Seeing it.”

(Sometimes she wonders how similar they are.

That they’ve both lost so much and take comfort in the mundane things surrounding them. In the tangibility of picking up something and knowing it comes from someone who cares and adores them.

She’s not sure who’s comforted more by the reminders. She clings to it though, the stability it proves.

An insistence that Lena’s here, that she’ll be back.)

Lena shifts closer, their knees knocking together. “Are you okay with it?”

“Yes,” she breathes, turning her head into Lena’s hair and breathing deeply, “Of course.”

“I’m going to need my work clothes though.”

“Or,” she says, tries to press closer to Lena, it feels a little impossible. Lena, warm and solid beside her, heartbeat knocking between then, against her ribs. Lena’s fingers trail softly through her hair, tucks some back and lingers there. A low, questioning hum sounding in her chest. “You could just stay here and get ready.”

“That’s a possibility.” Lena considers it, cupping her jaw in her hand. “But,” Lena drawls, fingers tap, tap, tapping up her arms, sliding along her shoulders. “I get to keep your blanket then.”

“Are we negotiating?”

(She’s going to lose if so.

Not because she’s seen- _heard_ \- Lena in meetings, deftly taking the upper hand with the rest thinking they’ve got what they wanted. Not because Lena’s a master at getting the most with the least amount of cost.

She’s going to lose, because Lena will blink slowly, so slowly, and Kara’s ready to agree before she even asks.

It’s completely, totally unfair.)

Lena smirks, slanted and proud and she strangely feels like she’s already given up her arm- hand, _whatever_. Fingers pinch at the fabric of her sweater, tug, “and this.”

(Later, Lena doesn’t hide her strut around her apartment, giving her crooked little grins as she fixes coffee.

At this rate, she’s going to be out of her favorite, soft clothes, but Lena’s all soft lines and pressing the collar of the sweater to her nose and oh, it’s _cozy_. Settles firmly in her heart. 

She’s pretty sure she won after all.)

* * *

“It’ll be fine.”

Lena hums, continues to pace the same spot. The same spot she’s been pacing for the last thirty minutes. 

Kara almost thinks she can see the tracks she’s making on the rug.

“ _Lena_.” 

“What?”

“You don’t have to worry.” She doesn’t try and stop Lena, just places herself within her sight. Lena will work herself up, energy spilling over on the edge, and that’s what she’s waiting for right now. “Eliza’s going to love you.”

“You don’t know that.” Lena bites down at her thumb, teeth working at her nail. She jerks her hand away, forces it through her hair. “It could go awfully.”

“I’ve set her house on fire at least four times, and she still loves me.”

“You’re you.” Lena’s hands settle on her hips but they drop just as fast, Lena’s head turning to the side and a small smile crossing her face. Kara scuffs her foot against the floor, blinks back up to see Lena still watching her carefully, the same- she doesn’t know if it’s true, but Lena looks at her that way so often it’s hard to second guess it like she used to- _adoring_ look on her face. This time, fondness colors every word. “You’re you. Who wouldn’t?”

“And you’re you, _and_ I love you.” She crosses her arms, puffs out her chest with Lena laughing at her instantly. “As one of National City’s heroes, I say that says a lot.”

Lena purses her lips. “One of? Who else?”

Kara raises her shoulders. “You.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Lena’s flushing though, her chin tipped up in that proud way Kara loves. It makes the angle of her jaw more prominent and she almost wants to step closer, scrape her teeth along the curve of it, Lena’s fingers clutching at her sides but she hears footsteps in the stairwell, stops.

Lena’s heartbeat is a steady rhythm, constant and at ease. She focuses on it rather than the steps getting closer and closer, and oh, Eliza’s meeting Lena.

(It was easy to forget her own panic in the face of Lena’s.

But now, two people she loves are meeting and she’s just standing there like it’s totally fine. Which it could be, but it could _not_ be and there’s nothing she can do about it. That doesn’t sit well with her, twists her stomach until she’s left feeling sicker than the time she ate six funnel cakes.

They’re her _family_ , but oh, what if it doesn’t go well?)

The chill builds in her lungs, squeezes them, and then she’s gasping out a breath that crystallizes and shines in front of her before melting away.

“Kara?” Breathing freeze breath is apparently, something to add to her list of things not to do because they worry Lena. 

She’s up to twenty five.

(Only because she condensed all food concerns into one number, because really, it seemed ridiculous for her to suffer two numbers just for _eating far too much_ and _swallowing everything without chewing_.)

“Darling, what’s wrong?”

“You’re meeting Eliza.”

“I am.” A crease between Lena’s eyebrows, fingers tapping worriedly together. “We can cancel?”

“ _No_. No. It’s just- they’re coming, and I- I just want it to go well.”

“It will.” Lena’s hand jumps when she says it, nervous and a tell, but she smiles and nods. Feels the worry break apart at the warmth of Lena’s smile.

Alex opens up the door, head dropping forward to rest heavily on her chest as she keeps it open. “She wouldn’t stop the entire way.”

“If you turned down the music, you would’ve been able to hear me better, and I wouldn’t have had to repeat myself so much.”

Alex presses a passing kiss against her cheek, mutters, “That’s why I turned it up in the first place.”

“Heard that.” Eliza smiles, and oh, it feels like she’s just come home from school, Eliza opening her arms wide and gripping her tightly. “Kara,” she says warmly, squeezes her twice, “I missed you. How are you?”

“Fine. I’m- I’m,” she stumbles, trying to wave in the general direction of Lena, because she’s not sure if she can even look at her. Her tongue already feels heavy and awkward, and _Rao_ , can’t she even talk right? “I’m Kara.”

“I know dear.” Eliza pats her hand, slow and heavy. She’s giving her time to think, she knows it, but it’s not really helping, because her heartbeat is thundering in her ears. Can they hear it too? They probably can. It’s that loud, louder than Lena’s behind her the longer she goes without talking. “Okay.” Eliza cups her cheek, taps it to a familiar pattern, and it isn’t until her fingers draw away from her wrist that she realizes what Eliza was doing. “I’m going to say hello? If that’s alright?”

“Yep. Fine. Awesome. Dandy.” Alex coughs into her cup, ignores the look she shoots her way. “Sorry.”

Eliza waves it off, focusing more on Lena as she brushes her fingers along Kara’s shoulder, bumps against her until their standing closely together. “It’s nice to meet you Dr. Danvers.”

“You too.” Eliza tilts her head, eyes searching over Lena. She nods, and Kara wonders what she’s decided she’s seen. “Can you cook?”

“Um.” Lena’s fingers stall from where they’ve been working steadily over hers. Tremble, and oh, she grabs them tightly- not too tight though, just enough to show Lena that she’s right here, it’s okay- and Lena swallows roughly. “Better than Kara?”

“I can work with that.”

Eliza has them flocking about the kitchen in record time, taking inventory of her cabinets and frowning all the while. She shakes her head, does it twice in that way that used to always make Alex roll her eyes when they were younger. “We need another can of potatoes. Can you get some dear?” Kara nods quickly, because the faster she leaves, the faster she gets back and-

Well, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do after that, but it sounds better than not being here _at all_.

“Mm,” Eliza grabs at her shirt sleeve before she can unbutton it, “take the car. Get rid of some of those jitters.” Jitters, she mouths, likes the way it sounds. Feels like golly and gee and Eliza. Alex snorts from her spot on the couch. “Alex you go too.”

“What the fu-”

“ _Language_.”

* * *

”Do you think they’re okay?”

Alex’s eyes are squeezed shut. She peers up, fingers white against the handle at the top of the car. “I think I’m gonna die.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Kara looks to the side, the back, to the side. Humans do it so slowly, a slow blink here, there. She’s the best driver she knows. Alex is a baby.

Alex says she doesn’t need to stop for a car breaking a mile away, but there’s that saying about passenger seat drivers. She doesn’t know it, but she knows it exists and _no one likes them, Alex_.

“Sure, sure. But yeah they’re- easy on the break there, please?- they’re fine, Kara. They were chatting it up while you were hyperventilating in the freezer.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Your lips were blue.”

“Freeze breath.”

“Oh.” Alex leans back in her seat, fingers sliding along the seat belt. Yanking once to make sure it’s locked. “That still happens?”

“Sometimes. When I’m nervous. Scared.”

Alex makes a concerned noise and fold her hand over hers. Tightly, over the steering wheel. “Kara, it’ll be okay.”

“I know, I know.” She laughs, feeling the panic settle back in, curl around her chest. “I don’t know what I’m even worried about.”

(Choosing.

She’s so tired of being forced to choose between which family is her _family_.

Explicit and not.

She thinks of Astra and Jeremiah and knows it will never come to that, never be that aching tear of feeling something being pulled out of place, of knowing something _belonged_ there. Of knowing it couldn’t be any other way.

She thinks of Lena and Luthors and Lillian’s venomous words and doesn’t want it seeping in between them, between the people she cares about.

She doesn’t want to choose. She just wants to be _happy_.)

“Kara,” Alex smiles, full and bright and oh, in that loving and patient way when she’s teaching her something for the third time, “we’re family. There’s always something to worry about.”

* * *

She doesn’t understand what Alex means until they come back, Lena and Eliza laughing quietly together, side by side.

“Kara could never do these, she’d always try and chop them too fast. Would chop right through the board and little further, into the counter.”

Lena’s laugh is a balm on her fried nerves, the wolfish grin she shoots to her as soon as she steps in. Knowing and comfortable, and oh, it looks a lot like she imagines a home to be. The smells, inviting spices that make her mouth water but Eliza’s already there, herding her away from anything that appears remotely edible already. The laughter and music as they try to pick a station only for Lena’s vote to be the deciding factor, Alex calling her a wimp when she admits to favoring Eliza’s choice more than either of theirs.

The warmth, eyes crinkling and Eliza’s fingers curling over her elbow as she presses a kiss to her cheek and _I love her_.

It isn’t until later that she realizes Alex meant they’re already a family.

* * *

She really, really hopes that Lena doesn’t notice.

The food had started to crackle and sizzle, the pops loud in her ears. It’s hard to stop, to think besides Lena. The small, quick intakes of air as they pull back only for Lena to slide a hand to her neck and pull her forward all over again. The burnt smell rising in the air is nothing compared to Lena’s perfume. Right at her neck when Kara noses down her jaw, presses her lips to her throat and enjoys the small sigh as much as the nails scratching lightly at her neck. Lena murmurs her name, shifts, her knees tight against Kara’s hips, and oh, she loves the breathlessness of it. 

“Kara.” It’s not the whisper of breath against her, more concerned. Lena’s fingers do a quick tap as she turns away, looks over her shoulders. “Something’s burning.” She blinks slowly, and Kara lets out a nervous laugh which is incriminating apparently, because Lena squints. “You knew.”

Busted. “A little.”

Lena’s nose bumps against her cheek when she leans forward. Eyes bright and happy, and oh, her chest feels full but weightless and she _loves_ it. Loves Lena. “I thought you wanted to cook together.”

“We did.” She grins, wiggles her fingers at the undersides of Lena’s knees until her legs jerk. “We’ll just have to pick something up. I’m fast. It’ll be like two seconds.”

Lena presses a hand at her collar, pushes her back until she can hop off the counter. The oven clicks off with a beep and a stern glance from Lena that makes her heart race a little more. “No one can fix food in two seconds.”

“The grass you eat is right outside.”

“I don’t eat grass.”

She snorts, barely feeling the finger Lena jabs into her side. “Yes you do.” She kisses Lena again when her lips tick down. It doesn’t have any place here, a frown, not when they’re trading kisses back and forth, and her heart feels as warm as Lena’s hands on her jaw. “I found some more choices,” she mumbles against  Lena’s lips.

That has Lena drawing back, eyebrows raising and a little grin playing on her lips. Lena’s fingers dance up her arms, shaking slightly, and Kara’s nervous and excited and oh, hopefully Lena will like these. “So have I.”

She knocks her fists against the counter, bounces up on her heels. “Okay, so these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” She grabs the papers from the drawer, slides them together until they’re neatly stacked. 

Lena waves her own stack, presses them into her hand. She can already see the little notes Lena’s put in the margins.

(It’s familiar after weeks of this.

Finding apartments. Print it out and make a pros and cons list on the side.

Some are thrown out immediately, either her lack of excitement making her distaste obvious or Lena’s distinct frown.

It’s fun though, nights of passing papers and scrolling through websites as a movie plays by them. Lena repetitively telling her that _no, they don’t need two fridges._

Lena’s will is fading though, she’s sure of it. She’ll have three at this rate.)

She calls in pizza while she’s flipping through the pages, Lena pressing against her back to whisper what she wants. It’s completely unnecessary. She knows what Lena wants by now, but she’s fairly sure it’s just an excuse to kiss her, Lena’s mouth pressing warm kisses against her neck that make her sag against the counter. She orders extra cheese on all of it and gets a pinch against her arm as Lena goes back to the papers in her hand.

Kara keeps an eye on Lena when Lena hums and walks around the room, pen out and marking the paper. She has a favorite, but she didn’t want to push, had only added it as the last one of her stack and hoped Lena would love it too. 

(She just wants this _so much_.

Wants for nights where they don’t decide who’s staying at who’s apartment. Where it isn’t because it’s too late for Lena to go home, but because it _is_ her home.

Where she gets to wake up to Lena knowing the very next day she’ll get to do it again.)

Lena freezes for a long moment, biting her pen and twisting it. “Kara-”

The phone almost crushes in her hand when she sees it, but Lena’s there, fingers easing hers and slipping it from her grasp. She stares down, and then she’s waving the paper at Lena. “You like this one too?”

“I saw it this morning, and it just-” Lena places a finger at her cons column, points to the blank space. “It’s perfect.”

“I thought so too! I didn’t want to just- just,” she pumps her fist forward, “hit you with it, but it feels right.” She dips her head, fiddles with her fingers until Lena’s knuckles skim over her jaw, tips her head up. “Like us.”

”So this is it? This is the one.”

She looks at Lena, smiling and breathless, feeling the warmth expand in her chest and nods.

“Yeah,” she agrees, smiles as wide as she can, “the one.” 

* * *

“ _I can’t Kara, I’m sorry. There’s just so much to do, and_ then _I have a conference call._ ”

“Oh.” The disappointment wells up, flickering to life as the candles she finally, _finally_ was able to light. It only took a spot of heat vision and the causalities of the curtains right behind it. 

Lena hopefully won’t notice that. 

She shifts the phone to cradle it between her head and shoulder. She liked the landlines better, always twisted her fingers along the cord no matter how much Eliza frowned. 

“That’s okay.” She hears the quiet whoosh, Lena letting out a relieved breath, and she clicks her tongue. 

(Lena’s always so worried. That one cancelled date, one rain check and it’ll be over.

She’s never said that, but it’s evident in the numerous apologizes, the too tight hugs when Lena gets home.

Kara doesn’t care how long the meetings or calls take though, as long as she comes home.)

“That’s totally fine.” It was just dinner, it _is_ fine. What isn’t is Lena not eating which is what’s bound to happen if this was all unplanned. She grabs the hem of her shirt, holds it out and picks at the burnt edges. Another causality then. “You’ve still got to eat though, right?”

“ _I’ll get something_.”

“I actually went ahead and got dinner.” From the italian place Lena had mentioned wanting to go to, but it was usually closed by the time she dragged herself, tired and hungry, from work. Just a little surprise, something nice, because Lena works so hard and rarely takes a break. She blows out the candles. She can still salvage this, because Lena’s going to have at least a breather if it’s up to her.

* * *

”That’s a lot of food.”

Kara holds up the bags, weighs them carefully in her hands. “In my professional opinion,” she muses, grins mischievously when Lena laughs, “it will last me until midnight.”

“Two hours longer than normal.”

“Only the finest.” She shakes the plastic utensils in her hand, eases her grip when one breaks. “Slightly below par finest, but still.”

Lena crooks a finger at her once she sets down the food, arms winding comfortably behind her back. “Thank you.” Her nose scrunches up. “Why do you smell like smoke? I didn’t see any fires today.”

“Watching me Miss Luthor?”

A finger hooks around her belt, tugs her close again and oh, is that- there’s teeth against her ear. A nip and “always.”

“ _Ha_.” She curls her hand over Lena’s hip, holds her there and tries to think about her answer. Another drag of Lena’s teeth, and oh, she can’t think and-

“I set our curtains on fire.”

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_. She’d be furious with herself, but really, no one could think with Lena looking at them that way- all dark eyes and wandering hands- so really, it’s just not fair. 

Lena rears back, taking her warmth with her even though Kara tries to follow the pressure. “You what?”

“That came out wrong.”

A raised eyebrow. “So you didn’t burn our curtains?”

“Oh no. I,” she swallows, “I did. They’re okay?” Lena’s shoulders drop and she gives her this small, affectionate smile. “They’re okay,” she decides.

“Okay.” Lena lowers down to the floor, legs crossing underneath her as she looks through the containers. “Are you going to tell me how or?” Her eyes close as she breathes in. “This smells wonderful.”

“Um-” The curtains can wait. She drops beside of Lena and searches around to find Lena’s food. Passes it to her with a quick kiss. “It’s that place you mentioned.” 

“Oh.” Lena leans back on her hands, eyes drifting over her curiously. Narrow as she reaches forward and plucks at her shirt. Kara follows her gaze, and geez, it burnt through her shirt underneath too. “How did it get- what were you lighting?”

Kara licks her lips, downing her water in one go. “Nothing.”

“Descriptive truly. The best journalist of your time.”

It’s almost a joke, but Lena says it with all the seriousness in the world, and Kara feels a dumb smile grow on her face, because it’s not true at all, but oh, Lena thinks so. Lena prods her side, and it’s clear she’s not going to let it go. “Candles. I may have overestimated the need for my heat vision.”

“That explains the wax on you. Did it explode?”

“A little.”

Lena laughs lightly, freezes. Kara watches her put it together, eyes landing on the food to the burnt edges of her shirt. “Oh _Kara_.” It’s whispered and mournful and her eyes burn at the sound of it. “You could’ve said something.”

“It’s fine.” She gets a disapproving look, Lena shaking her head. “It _is_. I know you have work, I just wanted to do something for you and look,” she gestures between them, food and Lena’s legs propped over hers with the carpet soft beneath them, “this is still fun.” She picks at the carpet. “I just wanted to see you.”

(It feels like too much. That even after living together- _because_ they live together- that it could be too much.

That it doesn’t make sense when she gets to see Lena morning and night.

But then Lena’s hand folds over hers and it feels like just enough. Like love.)

Lena’s eyes are green and deep in the low lights of her office, vibrant in the way she studies her, lips parting as she shuffles closer. “I missed you.”

(It doesn’t feel ridiculous or needless. She almost feels silly at thinking Lena would dismiss what she said, because if it’s anything like she feels at those words, that worry was unfounded.

She misses her.

Even though they wake pressed together and eat lunch together and fall asleep on the couch awkwardly tangled up.

It feels like it fits, smooth and right in that spot in her heart just for Lena.)

Lena’s mouth is hot on hers, sudden and maybe a little bit desperate- to soothe her, assure, she’s not sure- but it’s nothing compared to the whine building up in her throat when Lena pulls back. She urges them back together again, Lena kissing her slowly and taking her time as if she doesn’t have work to do, like she’s got all the time in the world. When she finally leans back, Kara’s feeling warm and thoroughly kissed and oh, it’s wonderful.

Lena’s fingers splay over her cheek. Lena kisses her again, smiling softly when she’s slow to open her eyes again afterwards. “One second.”

Lena pads around the office, heels left behind, mumbling to herself. Kara leans against the couch, smiles at Lena, hair pulled back and glasses crooked against her nose. She disappears into the hall, rummaging through filing cabinets until there’s a tick up in her heartbeat, the slightest _ha!_ when she finds what she was looking for Lena.

Lena walks back in, jaw tipped up and proud smile plastered on her face behind a stack of candles. “We keep these in case of emergencies. It’s not exactly what you wanted, but I think they’ll do.”

Lena holds a hand back when Kara goes to light them, gives her the barest shake of her head and brandishes a lighter. “I can’t explain it if you set my office on fire darling.” 

Lena gives her a cautious glance as she lights them, and oh, Kara wraps her in a hug after she’s done lighting the last one. Heat pools in her chest, expanding and filling every inch. “It’s perfect.”

Lena’s looking only at her when she agrees and asks her to stay. They stay cuddle close against the couch, Lena settled comfortably against her as she goes through her papers until her meeting, cursing time zones the entire time she does it.

When she’s done, she leans boneless against her desk, arms raising up and Kara falls against her immediately. Nails scratching against the back of her neck, dragging down to rub at the space between her shoulder blades and-

“I want to go home.” 

* * *

Lena smiles down at her when she finds her on the balcony, sprawled along the one lounge chair they could fit in the space. 

“Can I join you?”

Kara hums, draws it out until Lena’s knees are already hitting the edges of it as she leans over. “I guess.” She reaches out and pulls Lena down, sighing happily, “ if you want.”

Lena’s hands slip under her shirt, flatten against her stomach as she moves around, settling when she’s finally comfortable. “You’re warm.”

The sunlight gleams off of Lena’s hair, Lena shrugging away from the glare and pressing her face against her neck. Her heart warms at the sight, at the lips pressing against her collar before pulling away. “You’re pretty.”

She can feel Lena’s eye roll- imagines it more than she can see it- but oh, it’s true. She twirls a strand over her fingers, grinning when Lena turns further away from the sun’s bright light.

“Love you.” It’s murmured against her skin, thick and sleepy.

“Love you too.”

(It’s always there.

When Lena shows up at her work carrying bags and bags of food without a care for the stares she garners. When she carries Lena to their room after she’s fallen asleep over her- their? it’s a team effort now, Lena always eager for her input- latest project.

She doesn’t have to search far for it, knows it’s there just from a look at Lena. 

It’s warm and love and _them_.)  
  



End file.
